For those of you who know me, I’m not really one for the whole vampire scene. Blade was okay, True Blood, meh…Twilight…in my opinion…fucking killed the vampire franchise for me. So I was a little hesitant to watch this film, even though the lead male gives me a lady boner.
I watched this film, kind of expecting your typical run of the mill campy vampire flick, but I was so fucking wrong. The music, the colors, the dialogue is something that I couldn’t even begin to fathom when I watched this. The music that writer/director Jim Jarmusch used is something that brings the films tone to life, allowing the audience to feel apart of it. The premise of this film is about two vampires, Adam, played by Tom Hiddleston (Thor, Avengers) and his wife Eve, played by Tilda Swinton (Constantine, Chronicles of Narnia).
Eve lives in Tangier with her stacks upon stacks of books, while her husband, Adam, a depressed musician lives in Detroit. They haven’t seen each other in over 80 years, and it’s something that doesn’t really bother them. Unlike the vampire movies we’ve all seen, they don’t feed on humans anymore. They can’t. We “zombies” as Adam likes to refer to us, have polluted ourselves, making our blood contaminated. So they have to go through blood banks.
While Adam, back in Detroit, sneaks into the hospital in full scrubs and lab coat. He has an agreement with Dr. Watson, played by Jeffery Wright. He doesn’t ask questions, they rarely speak, only to banter a few times before he is tossed his wad of cash.
The reason I am so adamant about this film is not only because Tom Hiddleston’s in it, granted yes that is a bonus, but this film is so much more. You find out about each character as the film progresses. But you really do not have any idea how old any of the vampires are. The only time their fangs ever show is when they are drinking their blood, which puts them into an almost orgasmic trance like state.
I know I’m getting off topic here, but for fucks sake, I’m trying to remember all the details without having to go and destroy something from the sheer sexual frustration.
It starts off with Eve calling her husband, wanting to see how he is doing. Adam is a very sarcastic, dry humored kind of guy. He doesn’t really smile a whole lot and really doesn’t leave the house unless to get blood. He mainly spends his time writing music, collecting vintage instruments, which he acquires from his “zombie” pet ( or lackey) Ian, played by Anton Yelchin. Ian is in the music industry and is the only zombie that Adam can stand, though he doesn’t know he works with a vampire.
During their conversation, Eve picks up that something is wrong, and tries to convince her sardonic husband to come to where she is, but he refuses. Her words are, “Fuck! Alright, I’ll come to you. I can’t believe you are doing this to me….again.”
The only time you ever really see Adam smile is with Eve. The first time he sees her on his TV (don’t ask, you’ll have to watch it to understand), he smiles slightly and says, “There you are.”
Fast forward, I’m really trying not to tell you the whole fucking thing, just trying to get you all interested in giving this a shot, because I promise you, you will NOT be disappointed.
I cannot stress enough how beautiful these two actors work together. Tilda plays Eve as someone who is very in tune with the ways of the world, she is the yin to Adam’s yang, the light to his ever-growing darkness.
She looks amazing for being in her 50′s, and Tom, well, Jesus Christ, I could sit there all day and just stare at that man. (I’ve been known to do that). These actors really bring the characters to life. Tom, who plays a musician, trained long and hard to be able to play not only the guitar, but the violin and the drums.
You find out how some of these characters influenced some of the great minds of our times. Adam hung out with Nicola Tesla, and Marlowe would write with Shakespeare. While Eve is in Detroit, her long-lost, much younger and very annoying sister Ava shows up. You feel the tension that she causes, especially between her and Adam. She is from California, and you get the feeling that she hasn’t been a vampire for nearly as long as Eve or Adam. She comes across as whiney, and you pretty much want to shoot her with a wooden bullet.
I don’t want to tell you much more because I feel like I would give away all the goodies that this movie has, the only thing I can tell you is this, it literally took my breath away. It made me feel so many emotions and it was like a breath of fresh air amongst all the vampire films that have been around. It’s original, and that’s something that is rare nowadays.
Just let me add this one little thing before I go, Tom Hiddleston sucking on a blood popsicle…THAT IS FUCKING ALL
The Orphan Killer 2: Bound x Blood coming this summer
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