Fear

fear 2

I’m just sitting here staring at my hands
folded neatly in my lap
listening to everyone talk,
chatter and laugh around me
but I remain silent
I’m still not sure what I said or did
to earn that icy glare
but I feel myself shut down
The emptiness inside is unbearable
It makes no difference
that you have never hit me
but one look from you like that
is enough to shut me up
It’s like it always is
in any type of social situation
I have to watch my words carefully
and everything that I do
so as not to embarrass you
or do anything that you would deem unfitting
It’s like walking on eggshells
Constantly
Never knowing what could set you off
It could be anything
Some completely innocent statement
said the wrong way
a very exuberant laugh
Nothing could be that funny you say
*sigh* and it’s not just that
all those snide comments
about the way I look or dress
Am I really going out looking like that?
and if I don’t stop eating the way I do
I’ll turn into a fat cow
you say you’re trying to motivate me
try to make me a better person
All it does is make me want to
crawl inside myself & hide
or eat a gallon of ice cream
You have no idea how many times
I buy food and hide it
just so you won’t see it
or know I’ve eaten it
I know I’m not perfect
far from it as a matter of fact
I just know that I can’t be what you want
no matter how hard I try
And every time I fail
I get that look again
the one that makes me feel so small
insignificant
and I wonder
Will this be the day
you take that next step
and I end up in the ER

fear 5

fear 4

The Queen of Hell

the_twisted_path_group_queen_of_hell

TTPG edited-1

The Orphan Killer 2 Bound x Blood Created by Matt Farnsworth ©™ Full Fathom 5 Productions LLC
The Orphan Killer 2
Bound x Blood
Created by Matt Farnsworth
©™ Full Fathom 5 Productions LLC
The Orphan Killer on YouTube Go Rate The Orphan Killer and Give It The Top Rating It Deserves 
Visit IMDB and introduce yourself to Iowa
 
 
 
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s